We all want to believe that difficult times, and huge mistakes ultimately end up being lessons that teach us how to be a better person. It's often said that failure is the only way that you learn. But what happens when you fail at your marriage by being unfaithful? What do you learn then? This question can be particularly important to the faithful spouse, ArabianDate.com Reviews who really wants to believe that the spouse claiming to "learn his lesson" has in fact done just that.
In this situation, you might hear
from a wife who says: "my husband is always talking about what having an
affair and almost losing his marriage has taught him. I realize that he is most
likely doing this because he wants for me to think that there is something
valuable and redeemable about this whole situation but I am just not buying it.
What has he really learned? How to betray me and cover up his tracks? How I
look when I'm furious? How I'm almost ready to walk out on him because of his
carelessness? ArabianDate But when I
argue with him about this, he continues to insist that he has learned things
that are going to help us with our marriage. He says if I give him the chance
to prove it, then I will see for myself. What in the world does he mean by
this? "
I can't read this husbands mind.
And I am not a man who has cheated. But I hear from many of them. And some do
claim that they have learned a lot about life, their marriage, their spouse and
themselves after having an affair. Because of this, I feel like I have a pretty
good handle on their thought process. Here is some of what they will tell you
that they learned.
Many Of Them Learn That Their
Inability To Deal With This Problems When They Are Happening Leaves Them
Vulnerable: Honestly, I strongly believe that many bouts of infidelity could
have been avoided if a man wasn't trying to deny or run away from his feelings
or problems. ArabianDate.com To me,
many men fall into an affair as a way to feel better, more secure, or more in
control. Often, they end up getting the exact opposite - at least once the
affair has run its course and is over. But worse than that, they have done tons
of damage and their situation is even worse than what they started with. So
many realize (a bit too late) that they are better off dealing with problems,
stress, and insecurities, as these things come up. Otherwise, things are only
going to be worse later.
They Learn That Their Actions Can
Deeply Hurt The People Who They Love: To be honest, I do not think that many
cheaters think too much about getting caught when they start the affair. Many
don't plan it - and they do not plan for it to be a reoccurring thing. When it
does go on for longer than that, then they tell themselves that they will be
very careful and that if you don't know, then you can't be hurt. Very few of
them actually let their mind think about your being as hurt as you eventually
are.
When they do see the consequences
of their actions and they see you devastated, they realize, first hand, just
how much devastation they have caused. And this is enough for some men to never
want to cheat again. They never planned for this day. And when they have to
face you and look into the pain in your eyes, it hurts them too. I know that it
is hard for you to believe this. I am not defending people who cheat. But many
men in this situation tell me that it is so painful to know how badly they have
hurt their wife. They wish they could take her pain onto themselves and yet,
there is not really anything that they can do to undo the damage.
They Learn To Stop Their Risky
Behaviors: Many men end up cheating when this was never their intention. There
might be the business trip where they drink too much. Or the class reunion. Or
the bachelor party. Or the late night sessions with their female coworker. In
short, there are certain situations that make a man more vulnerable to cheating
even when he has no intention of doing so. Men who have fallen into this trap
often learn not to put themselves in these type of risky situations any longer.
Many become fully aware that it is just not worth it.
They Learn To Appreciate Their
Wives And To No Longer Take Her For Granted: It's not uncommon for cheating
husbands to tell their wives that they have never loved or wanted her more. She
usually thinks that this is just him trying to get back into her good graces or
him talking nonsense. But, many men are sincere when they say this. Because
where they had taken you for granted before, they are now at risk of losing you
and this isn't a good feeling for them. So yes, they cling to you and they
realize how much they love you and what a big mistake they have made to put
your marriage at risk. This new appreciation means that they are less likely to
take you for granted.
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