I often hear from people on both side's of the affair who are trying to prevent "a revenge affair" from their spouse. You might hear from the faithful spouse (who is now tempted to cheat themselves in order to show their spouse how it feels to be betrayed in this way.) Or, you might here from the spouse who cheated and who now feels sure that their spouse will cheat ArabianDate.com Reviews to get back at them and is looking for a way to prevent this by any means necessary.
So, from the faithful spouse, you
might hear a comment like: "I will admit that I still feel a lot of
resentment toward my husband for cheating on me. Even though we have tried to
make it work and in some ways we are succeeding, I still feel so much anger some
days. There are times when I am not sure that staying with my husband was the
right decision. I have to admit that sometimes, I wish I had chosen the man I
was dating before my husband. He would never have cheated on me. I had more
chemistry with my husband. But now I realize that was stupid. Because chemistry
obviously fades. I see that other man all of the time. And honestly, I could
start a relationship with him anytime that I wanted to. How do I keep myself ArabianDate from
cheating? How do I tell myself it's so wrong when my husband has already done
it to me?"
From The Perspective Of The
Faithful Spouse: I am going to address one concern at a time in this article. I
will get to concerns that come from the cheating spouse in a moment. But for
now, let's address the situation from the point of view of the faithful spouse.
I know that it's hard not to want to retaliate. I have been there. Often, you
doubt your own attractiveness after your husband has cheated on you. So when
someone shows interest and an attraction to you, this understandably feels
quite good. It's just human nature to gravitate toward that. And it's also
human nature to be tempted to justify your behavior with the knowledge that he
has already done the same to you.
However, you probably already know
in your heart that cheating and adding yet another affair for your marriage to
overcome is just making the situation worse and just making all of this more
difficult to deal with. Not only that, but you have to ask yourself if doing
what you truly know is wrong is going to make you feel much worse and heap on
even more pain. I firmly believe that no matter what the circumstances, you
never want ArabianDate.com to pursue
a relationship outside of your marriage until that same marriage is legally and
completely over. If you do, this tends to follow you around mentally and
emotionally and it also can haunt that additional relationship.
If you are having trouble avoiding
temptation, then examine your behaviors. If you don't trust yourself to see the
other man and remain in control, then it's a good idea to not see or talk to
him for a while. There is no good reason to put your fidelity in jeopardy.
Also, I can say for certain that healing yourself and your marriage is the best
deterrent to hurting one another in the future. Because frankly, when you are
connecting with your spouse and successfully rebuilding the intimacy, then you
have no desire to cheat or do anything to jeopardize the progress that you have
made. You are feeling empathy for them, so you wouldn't want to hurt them on
purpose. So the short answer is that if you truly do not want to strike up a
revenge affair, then turn your attention away from temptations and put it on
your marriage.
From The Perspective Of The
Cheating Spouse: Now, let's focus on it from another perspective. I might hear
from a husband who says: "I am so paranoid that my wife is going to cheat
on me to get back at me for having an affair. My wife is a beautiful woman and
a number of men chase her. She has always resisted because she loves me and is
committed to our marriage. Now that I have ruined everything, this may no longer
be the case. How do I make sure that she doesn't cheat on me to get
revenge?"
Well, there's nothing that you can
(or should) do to try to force any behavior on your spouse. She has free will,
after all. But, as I said before, the very best detractor of any kind of
infidelity is to have a strong marriage while at the same time you remove the
temptations. If you are showing your wife that you are serious about your
marriage by going to counseling and by spending as much loving time with her as
possible, then she isn't as likely to have the time or the inclination to
attempt revenge through cheat. She needs to truly believe that you are sorry
and she needs to believe that your marriage is going to heal. You need to do
everything in your power to make sure that you are moving toward this and you
need to make it your business to spend as much quality time with her as
possible so that she doesn't have the desire or the opportunity to cheat.
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