Rebuilding Bonds After An Affair

Maggie was in a state of shock and disbelief. But the evidence she had discovered on Ron's computer was disturbingly conclusive. Raunchy emails from one of his lovers, the exchange of sexually explicit photographs, accessing pornographic Web sites and video chat rooms were some of the activities that had taken up so much of his time. How foolish she now felt. Despite her loneliness and frustration at his long hours at "work", Amolatina.com Reviews she was supportive of his business pursuits. At times, she was acutely aware of his emotional distance but attributed it to work stress. How could she have been so stupid? After 14 years of marriage, how dare he? The sudden realization of months of deceit ripped through her like a jagged sword.

 

The loss of trust, deceit and betrayal of shared values on which a marriage is built becomes completely disorienting and incredibly painful that impacts both partners in the relationship.

 


The Repercussions of Infidelity

 

When the sense of security within a couple's emotional bond is threatened by one partner, this can become extremely destabilizing for the injured partner. If the offending partner's involvement was minimal and he or she takes responsibility and expresses remorse, the threat may be lessened by comforting contact and reassurance. However, Amolatina if the threat is perceived as more serious or if the relationship has not been a safe haven before the infidelity occurred, the injured partner may experience extreme anxiety within the relationship and try to deactivate any needs and fears. This results in attacking behaviors or numbing out and defensive avoidance. Both these coping strategies often exacerbate personal hurt and distance between partners.

 

The discovery of infidelity is like a bomb, tearing through the fabric of the relationship like shrapnel through unprotected flesh. ~ Bercaw

 

Consequently the injured partner may exhibit symptoms characteristic of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Disturbing memories, vivid images, and sensations puncture an injured partner's concentration and sleep. When the partner is awake, excessive ruination and hypervigilence are all consuming. Avoidance and numbing, which are both Amolatina.com natural and self-protective strategies against the bombardment of intrusive symptoms, interfere with ongoing emotional engagement and attunement between partners.

 

Effective Treatment for Infidelity

 

An experienced therapist is particularly skilled in addressing raw emotions, understanding relationship traumas, and slowly choreographing risk taking and the growth of trust between partners. A bonded relationship is the natural healing arena for emotional wounds, even when these wounds have been inflicted by the attachment figure in this relationship. In these cases, the therapist helps the wounded client deal with the dilemma that the other partner is the source of pain and fear and also the longed-for haven of comfort and healing reassurance.

 

Empathic responsiveness, the effective owning of hurtful actions, and engaged reassuring emotional connection are key elements in the much needed assistance one partner can offer to the wounded other. Ultimately, the therapist guides both partners in the relationship towards forgiveness of injury where the abandonment, rejection, and separation distress associated with the affair can be healed.

 

 

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